Insecurities

This is a tribute to everyone who ever felt like they weren’t good enough, and who ever felt like they were in any way inferior to everyone else.

Recently, I’ve been feeling increasingly insecure again. And it got me thinking about how insecurity has been a big part of my life since young.

Photo 24-2-17, 4 21 35 PM (1)

Insecurity can manifest and develop in many different ways.

My insecurity started when I was 7 years old. I was unable to fit in with the other girls as I was the only one with a boyish haircut. Since I didn’t look like a typical girl, I was automatically deemed ugly by my classmate and I believed it.

During the start of secondary school, I gained a lot of weight and started having breakouts. Pretty soon, I realised that I just wasn’t as good looking as the majority of my friends. This awful feeling lasted until I was 15 when I reached the peak of my confidence. My face started clearing up and I lost a little weight, and I soon realised that I wasn’t that bad looking after all. I started feeling better about myself, but it only lasted for such a short time.

One comment was all it took to destroy the confidence I’ve slowly built up.

I was told again that I did not look as good as a lot of the other girls. Not to mention, the size of my thighs were always a constant topic. I started feeling very insecure again and I hated how my face and body looked. I found myself comparing to other girls, noticing the size of my different body parts. Due to that, I refused to take photos because of how self-conscious I was. I knew that I wouldn’t look half as good as the other people in the picture, and I didn’t want a reminder of how bad I looked.

Slowly but surely, I found part of my confidence and started feeling better about myself. However, recently I realised that I’ve been subconsciously comparing myself to other girls even more than usual. I would notice how unnatural I look in pictures, and how there are different parts of my face or body that can be improved on to make myself look better.

Being insecure is so tiring and I just want to stop feeling like I’m inferior to everyone else just because I’m not as slim or as attractive as them.

It’s times like this that I got to remind myself that everyone’s beautiful in their own ways. Beauty is such a subjective thing. How can you measure something that has so many different standards and views? Beauty can mean one thing to one person and mean something completely different to someone else. Being beautiful can mean having a lean body with defined features – to one person – or it can mean being average sized with soft features – to another.

Or it can mean being beautiful on the inside instead of the outside.

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset

It is important to accept yourself for who you are and how you look like. Don’t let one measly comment bring you down.

So what if you gained weight or have breakouts? So what if you can’t conform to society’s standard of beauty? The standard’s always changing. There’s no point in conforming to something that comes and goes. I believe that everyone has those days where they can’t help but feel insecure. And the only thing that’s important is how you deal with the insecurity and not let it drag you down.

You’re the only you there is in the entire world.

And as long as you do you, there’s nothing more beautiful than that.

author-avatar

On the constant search for her eyes, and food to fill up her perpetually empty belly.

No Replies to "Insecurities"

    Leave a reply

    Your email address will not be published.